Sounds ominous, doesn?t it? ?At first glance my heart dropped as if I already knew what it would mean. And in some ways, I did. ?But as I stepped back to explore more thoroughly, I found a lot more came out of my commitment to withdraw this week than I might have expected. Truthfully, one of the things that I appreciate most about this project is the way it has forced me to reframe my reaction to otherwise ?scary? words (risk?withdraw). What a notion? that on their face, words themselves are scary. Let me explain.
For the last seven years, I allowed myself to be cut down, limited, and defined by a few words spoken by a man that I deeply respected- a man at that time I called ?dad.? I learned the importance of words as I felt them end our relationship, bring me to tears, and shake my confidence and worth. But after reconnecting and a few conversations over the last few weeks, I?m beginning to appreciate that words themselves have no power; we grant that power to them. I granted that power as an 18-year-old boy negotiating the next chapter of a divorce that started before I entered middle school. ?I granted that power when I let the words hurt so badly that I let them define me. And I?m slowly replacing those words, withdrawing them from my self-concept to be replaced with my own Truths complemented by so many things he didn?t say over the last seven years. ?And it feels pretty damn good; not just to bridge a connection to the man who raised me, but to feel like I?m reconnecting to a part of myself that I once felt conflicted about, troubled by,?and ashamed of; a part that?s always been enough. ?A great gift,? as I was told his weekend.
That manifestation of withdraw was perhaps the newest, as the mention I made of my understanding and commitment to withdraw while reflecting on capture?was far more concrete. ?In my travels from Ohio to Texas, and back and forth between Texas and Georgia, I?ve enjoyed meeting all kinds of professionals, connecting with them, finding points for collaboration and working on projects together prompted by social media and technology, (like this one). ?But I?ve never quite approached my network in the way that I did this week; as a sort of social ?ATM?; seeing LinkedIn and Twitter as collections of expertise, experiences, and networks that might assist in exploring new interests and opportunities. ?It?s funny, for the first time in many months, I found myself thinking back and fully committing to the promises I made through my ?One Word? project that began with the new year (read: most of them?) to engage this year?Although I have shaken things up in this department (sometimes more drastically than others) about every three months (an odd realization in and of itself).
Anyways, the exercise of withdrawing social capital in the network economy to continue to build relationships and invest in my future brings a lot of excitement in picking bear?as next weeks verb, given the incredible amount of Grace that seems to accompany this project.
Sort of spoiled the reveal there. Our word this week is bear, and after seeing the visual interpretation from another Loquacitas writer, I?m confident I?m better off withdrawing my usual stream of consciousness to hibernate for next week.
Now read the following, stolen and adapted from yet another Loquacitas friend!
For more posts about Loquacitas, please visit the other participating blogs:
? ?The Lovely Bird?s Blue Sky
? ?My Audience Is Me
? ?The Moving Picture?
? ?Journey to the Center of a Tootsie Pop
? ?Comma Spiced
Want even more fun?? Follow me on Twitter (@brianfleduc) or search for #loquaVOW or #vowBEAR
Interested in joining Loquacitas on your own blog? ?Leave a comment below and I?ll contact you with more details!
Source: http://brianfleduc.com/2013/08/18/loquacitas-week-6-withdraw/
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